My goal is to learn something new every day. It is a pretty easy goal to accomplish because I am in school but today my fun fact was not inspired by home work, but instead it came from a sex documentary. The documentary is called “Let’s Talk about Sex” and it analyzes the sex dialogue in America mainly between parents and their teens.
My fun fact came from one of the college guys in the documentary:
“College means sex, being sexual and hooking up. College means girls putting out.”
At first I was offended, but then I continued watching. The scenes that came after were of drunk college men and women doing body shots, bumping and grinding, and humping with a million other people around. It felt like I was watching the Discovery Channel, and then I immediately thought of this party I went to a couple of weeks ago. All of my friends were spending the night at this house. Literally it was a mating ground. It was kind of like people-watching at the airport only with loud pop music, screaming trashed girls, and gropy drunk guys. Sex was a given in this context, though hardly any of us were in relationships with each other, it simply was the “norm.”
The bottom line is Americans are having sex (95 percent have sex before they are married) and absolutely no one is talking about it. It’s like if we don’t talk about it we will just wish away the consequences. The truth is that dialogue prevents STDs and pregnancies, and that dialogue should be started before we enter the “real world” of college.
When I think of opening up the dialogue I mean between people who serve as our support groups, whether that be parents, siblings, best friends or teammates. I have an awesome relationship with my parents. However, we don’t usually talk about sex. In fact, the can of worms has finally pried open in large part because of this column. Don’t get me wrong, they are totally supportive but it still gets a little weird when my parents tell their friends that I am a sex columnist for the school newspaper.
I was home this weekend and we had family and friends over for dinner. They asked me why I am writing the column, and as I am explaining, one of them looks at me and says “I just can’t believe that you are actually talking about this stuff.” Here is what gets me: what I am talking about is not inappropriate.
In the documentary, a son is told by his parents to “keep your horse in the stable and don’t let it ride.” He looks at the camera and says, “great line but the advice didn’t work.” One of the moms who supported talking to her daughter about sex made a great point when she said that the “benefits outweigh the momentary awkwardness.”
It all goes back to the old debate, should we get sex education from the schools or should we get it from our families? I advocate for both, highly. But I also think that in both the schools and at home we need to start having honest and open conversations. Sex should just be a part of our lives, not in this evil, sinful way but in a way that opens the discussion to protect us from heartaches, emotional disasters, pregnancies and STDs. I don’t think you should call your mom up right after you finish rocking the headboards and say “You will never guess what the boy who sits next to me in Astronomy and I just did.” I just think that talking about sex shouldn’t be a sit down-on-the-couch-while-mom-and-dad-awkwardly-twiddle-their-thumbs, while they say “Well honey, we need to have the birds and the bees talk.” Instead, it should be an open discussion about abstinence, condoms, birth control and healthy relationships.
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