My first thought: dry spells are for old, married couples. Afterward, I talked to different college couples, who have been together for an extended amount of time, and I realized that some of them fear that they are becoming old and shriveled already. They are stuck wondering where their sex drive went.
If you are in a dry spell, does that mean your passion has dwindled, that you are tired of your partner, or you don’t like having sex anymore?
No, I don’t think so. I honestly think other stuff becomes a higher priority and suddenly when one person is up and ready, the other is drooling and getting some much needed Z’s.
A girlfriend told me, “Sometimes I think it is easier for people who waited until their wedding night, because my fiancée and I have already gone through our honeymoon phase and now I feel like we have old-people sex problems, and we haven’t even gotten married yet!”
So what can you do when the hot-and-steamy-lust phase has gone cold and you can’t seem to rekindle it, no matter how many candle light dinners you stage?
If long-termers have one advantage over honeymooners, it’s the deep emotional bond, sexual learning that they’ve undergone together and knowing exactly what buttons to push to get the other in the mood.
As always, intimacy and communication lead to great sex. In a long-term relationship, it’s just easier to take your partner’s affection for granted. However, keep in mind that intimacy is based on trust. And saying something like “Babe, tonight I am all yours” and then ignoring the rest of the world for your sweetie will give you both the time to get your sexy on.
An idea my friend tried was to communicate emotionally with her boyfriend. She found out that when her and her bf shared their emotions it was easier to get in the mood, and then they actually hungered for sex again. They found that they were both aroused by their emotional sharing.
So some funny/cheesy/may-even-work ideas: Give a warm smile when he/she does something nice. Write a surprise love note and leave it on the pillow, or hey, maybe turning up at his house with a jacket on and nothing underneath might surprise you both into that bed your body so longingly craves for.
The more open and connected you are with each other, the more options you will find for pleasuring one another. And hey, isn’t that the point of sex—to feel good about yourself and your partner?
Welcome back to school and I sincerely hope there are some hotties in your new schedule!
