Lets talk about sex: Revaluating today’s definition of rape

Usually I avoid telling people about my encounters with the police, but this police officer showed so much kindness that I have to tell the story. One time I was hanging out with a guy in a car, seemingly in the middle of nowhere, when, of course, a cop pulls up. He asked us for our information and then he did the most wonderful thing: He asked me to get out of the car so we could talk. My heart was pounding, because I thought I was in trouble. He just asked me if I was here on my own accord or if I was forced into the situation.

At first I thought it was weird but then I realized how thankful I would have been if I was uncomfortable with the situation. He took the time to ask me if I was OK, guaranteed he is paid to do that, but I think the action was more than protocol.

As I was thinking about how nice it was of the cop to worry about my safety, the guy I was with looked at me and said, “You could have been raping me.” The only response I had was “true.”

Since the 1920s, our government has followed a simple definition of rape, which excludes men as rape victims and does not acknowledge the full breadth of consent or lack of consent. In early January, the Obama administration announced a new definition of rape.

According to the Department of Justice, the new definition will read: “The penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim.”

“The New York Times“ reported that rape used to be defined as vaginal penetration, and more specifically, “the carnal knowledge of a female, forcibly and against her will.”

Unlike the old definition, the new definition acknowledges that men and women alike can be rape victims. It also accounts for a broader definition of nonconsensual sex; including drugged victims or victims incapable of giving consent.

Lynn Rosenthal, the White House advisor on violence against women, made a great point when she said: “It’s about more than a definition… It’s a change of our understanding of rape and how seriously we take it as a country.”

Rape is sometimes treated as a joke in our community. Even after this encounter with the police, this guy and I joked about him raping me and the police officer having to intervene for the next couple of weeks. It wasn’t true, so we thought it was funny. But was it really that funny to anyone who happened to overhear our conversations?

Rape is a serious problem, and while I don’t think that simply expanding a definition will make us all take rape more seriously, I do think that it will hopefully help the justice system to keep people more accountable.

The truth is that rape usually doesn’t just happen like most people imagine, with a girl walking down a dark alley way being forced upon by some guy she doesn’t know that probably just escaped from jail. Rape happens by people we know and usually trust, and rape happens every time we don’t soberly consent.

So I have an idea, I think we should change our language to match our actions. Instead of saying something like this “Texts from Last Night” post, “(717): Hey history final, how’s it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?”

We could say: “Wow, I just rocked that test so hard. I am definitely going to get an A. Super pumped!”