On my blog about a month ago, someone asked me why I was qualified to write this column. I stared at the question, and if you follow my blog then you have read my answer. My reply was something along the lines of, I am qualified to open a discussion about sex, even though I do not have a degree in sex education or counseling. Simply put, I am a college student, just like you, who happens to like talking about sex. So for this week, I thought I would let you get to know a little bit more about me.
I just got played. This guy and I just ended a little fling. For a while I thought it was going good, but then it started feeling off and I knew something was up.
Here is a little background: This guy had just recently broken up with his girlfriend before he met me. Fairly soon into the conversations we started talking about, well, sex. Long story short: He wanted sex; I wouldn’t give it to him. So when he went back to his girlfriend, should I have been surprised? Probably not. But here I am thinking, do all guys think with the “other” head? Is it really all about sex?
And as I ponder these questions, a good girlfriend of mine came to me flustered about her weekend festivities. Her new beau won’t let her go below his belt, but he will go below her belt if she wants him to. She was so confused and didn’t know how to perceive his “waiting for marriage” attitude. She told me she didn’t know how to handle a guy who said no to fooling around. I laughed and said, “Well, hey, look at it this way: You just get to lie there and enjoy, while he will never complain about blue balls. What more could you want?”
Joking aside, I have been thinking about this past semester’s columns and I hear myself repeat, “communicate, communicate, communicate. And be honest about your intentions.” And yeah, in an ideal world that works.
Don’t get me wrong, communication is important no matter what. But even though her beau was honest about his intentions, she is still stuck in a dilemma of wanting to fool around with a guy who wants to wait. And in my situation, I was honest about my intentions, and I communicated openly but at the end of the day it still didn’t work.
My point is that we are all constantly learning that frankly, college is messy. Relationships are messy (even if the guy doesn’t splurge in your eye,) and sometimes it ends with just another exhaustive sigh.
On the bright side (stealing a quote from “He’s Just Not That Into You”) “There are so many more fish in the sea, probably with smaller pores and bigger implants.” And it is so true. College is a Twister board game of dating, relationships, and sex. We are all floundering around in this pool trying different fish out to see which color, shape and size we like best. Some people want to be energizer bunnies, some people want to take their time, and the cool part is that we are at a school with 10,000 other—sometimes— normal college students who all believe in different things.
So as you guys look back at the semester, I hope you came away STD free and have a wonderful winter break; remember hanging up mistletoe above the bed will bring some holiday cheer into your sex life. I can’t wait to see you sexy people back here next January in the freezing cold where we will need a hot cup of sex talk to warm our spirits as we jump into a new semester!
I gotta say, I love your column. It makes me giggle, even if I disagree from time to time. It’s just really nice to know there’s another girl somewhere in this town that doesn’t mind talking about sex. Even my guy friends get flustered about it, haha! I can’t wait to return to your column next semester.
Thank you so much! I am glad you disagree from time to time, to be honest. Feel free to write me on facebook or on my blog if you have any topics that you want discussed or if you disagree with what I have written :) Have a great winter break!
Indeed jessu002. Many students are *like* to online dating.
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