If you liked the TV series “Sex and the City,” then HBO has a new addiction for you. According to www.new.com.au (a Web site presenting news from supposedly “all angles”), the new sitcom is supposed to be a cross between “Friends” and “Ugly Betty.” Rumor has it that the show will feature blonde Hollywood starlets struggling to make it big. Did I mention that Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan would play the main characters?

This sitcom screams disaster. The intent of the show is ruined by the large fact that HBO forgot to take this into consideration: didn’t these stars already make it big? Isn’t Britney Spears a well-known pop star, Paris Hilton a hotel heir and Lindsay Lohan an actress? In addition, didn’t they ruin their reputations by being part of various scandals through the years? HBO should not give these celebrities another opportunity to prove to society that they could be credible. Let’s take a look at the facts.

Britney Spears started out as the “Hit Me Baby One More Time” princess of 1999. She lead the pop world into a blonde bimbo dive as fellow vocalists Christina Aguilera, Jessica Simpson and Mandy Moore followed close behind. Things were going well for Spears; that is until her purely innocent act hit the fan. Since then she has damaged her reputation by performing in poorly reviewed movies, divorcing and annulling marriages, having outlandish methods of raising her kids and shaving her head. Obviously, Spears is no longer in the right frame of mind to claim additional stardom by playing the “struggling singer” in HBO’s new sitcom.

Paris Hilton made her name by being a celebrity debutante. She had to earn her GED after violating school rules in Connecticut. Later in life, she endured a publicized jail sentence in 2007 for driving under the influence. She is a stand-up member of the TV industry, obviously, because of her performance in the TV show “The Simple Life” alongside Nicole Richie. Her controversial sex tape was the talk of the country and her attendance of various nightclubs has won her a party-girl reputation. Hilton should not be given any more chances to increase her stardom, or her ego.

Lindsay Lohan rose to stardom through her roles in “The Parent Trap,” “Mean Girls” and “A Prairie Home Companion.” The music business allowed her to record three albums, none of which earned her a standing reputation as a pop star. She is now a leader on the celebrity party scene. Lohan checked herself into rehab in 2007 and then pleaded guilty seven months later to driving under the influence of cocaine. Altogether, she has had three attempts at rehabilitation. Maybe Lohan should spend more time rebuilding her sober self before she is given any roles to redeem her celebrity self.

So maybe I’m wrong and all three of these blonde, scandalous females should be given the chance to redeem themselves for any bad reputations earned over the years. Maybe we should give them yet another chance. Besides, how hard can it be for three blonde bimbos to play three blonde bimbos?

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If you voted for Nader during the last presidential election, you probably received your share of lumps from Kerry supporters for “skewing the vote,” and putting King George back in office for another four years. This seems disrespectful, implying that you ignored the real choice for president in favor of your “joke” candidate. You might just be disappointed enough in the failure to elect the Green Party candidate that you’ve decided to vote plain-Jane this election.

Don’t fret! Ralph’s at it once again, and this time it looks like he’s really got a chance! Okay, so maybe he’ll just get 5 percent of the vote, like usual, and gracefully thank his cadre of loyal voters. But that’s still something, right?

By now, you may have decided that I’m some sort of an extremist element seeking to unbalance a precariously two-sided system. If so, that is surprisingly insightful and I give you much credit for your evaluation. When considering the vague and convenient definitions of our two-party political system, I might even claim to be a patriot, as some extremists are likely to do.