The other day, I was sitting around the house watching movies and I decided to put in the original “Star Wars” trilogy. I mean, any day is a great day for the original trilogy, right? Especially when you have a test to study for that is in a few hours. Once I started watching “Episode IV: A New Hope,” I slipped into instant happiness. But this time, when I was watching Han Solo in the cantina with Greedo the bounty hunter, I noticed something different.

Then it hit me, how does Han Solo understand anything that this green goof is saying? Especially when Han Solo talks back to Greedo in English and apparently they both understand each other perfectly.

This kind of behavior does not happen in the real world. This is not accepted behavior for either here or on Tatooine

If people that are having a conversation know more than one language, they settle on one language to speak with each other. For instance, you don’t go to France and ask for directions in English and they acknowledge you and reply in French. Even if you and the French guy both know English and French, it’s just not how people react to each other and behave when it comes to dealing with other languages. You pick one and use it, if someone switches the language you switch as well.  

The Greedo scene isn’t the only case either; there are so many. Of course the most obvious example is Han Solo and Chewbacca. He just makes growling noises that have no resemblance to speech patterns but Han understands him perfectly well. What gets me is that he can fly the Millennium Falcon, shoot a gun awesomely and weld, but he can’t make any recognizable speech patterns. Come on George Lucas.

Then there is Lando and a character named Nien Nunb in “Return of the Jedi.” Remember Nien Nunb? He looks like some genetic mutation of Super Mario with female genitalia stretched across his face. Yeah, now you remember. How do they understand each other?

Apparently, Lando is just so cool that he is understood in any language. No one knows what the hell Mario on acid is saying except for Lando, he sure seems to know. I think what Lucas is alluding to here is that Nien understands Lando through a language that doesn’t need translation: love.

I’ve noticed the way they look at each other. After narrowly escaping the Death Star together, Lando has found a soul mate in a creature that looks like he was created on the Island of Dr. Moreau. I’m sure that is some sweet lovin’.

It seems that George may have taken suggestions about using some translators by the time “Return of the Jedi” rolled around. When the Ewoks in the forest of Endor surrounded Han Solo and his crew, no one could understand what these things were saying except the nerd droid. Wait, everyone has finally met their match with the Ewoks?

Everyone understands the incoherent growls of Chewbacca and his nonsense for all of the movies but no one can understand the language of the Ewoks. Now why did George Lucas pick the Ewoks as a species that needs to be translated and not some of the others that are equally incomprehensible? Does he have something against the Ewoks? Or maybe it’s because he has something against the little people that play the Ewoks.

Ridicule against little people has been going on for way too long. I know as a shorter person that people tend to not take you seriously because of your height. And just like the Ewoks, sometimes the languages of those that are not as big are often not understood by many.

Things like this can affect many that are not blessed with height, especially in job interviews. It’s sometimes not easily seen, but George Lucas has something against those that are smaller than he. I just hope that individuals stop following the path of Lucas and listen to the language of the person, not the language of their height.

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